Acceptance can be difficult when the situation you need to accept is painful, like the loss of a loved one, or news of a life-threatening illness.
But how do you come to terms with and accept something that is so unacceptable?
I remember when my son was diagnosed with bone cancer at the tender age of 13. I did NOT want to accept what was being told to me by the doctors.
Nope.
No thank you.
I’ll take a hard pass on this one.
But denial was keeping me stuck in a very painful place, and what started to happen was the more I denied the cold reality of the situation, the longer I held off taking control of the it, along with my thoughts, actions, and behaviors.
And then, like always, my learnings from the fellowship of AA popped into my brain and I remembered a verse from the Big Book of Alcoholics anonymous on page 417 (4th edition) which reads: “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation to be exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment”.
As much as I did not want to accept his cancer diagnosis as the way it is supposed to be, I also knew I had no choice but to accept it. Whether I liked it or not, my son did have cancer. Decisions needed to be made and I could no longer live in the comfort of denial.
In a healthy state of mind, we have control of our behaviors, thoughts, and actions. But when we live in denial, the situation has control over us. Acceptance is the only thing that can break us free of that unhealthy pattern.
So, when you are feeling annoyed or discontented, think about what is happening around you. Identify the person, place, thing, or situation that you find to be unacceptable. Accept it for what it is and remind yourself that this is all part of a bigger plan and that more shall be revealed in good time.