“Keep in touch” is a frequently used phrase in society. How many times have you ended a conversation with someone saying, “It was so nice seeing/talking to you! Keep in touch!” I know that I use those words regularly, and while some may say it in jest, I mean it. I want to keep in touch as much as possible with people that are currently in my life, those who I have reconnected with, or new friends. I walk away from the interaction excited and looking forward to the next conversation. The problem is that the next encounter rarely happens. Sure, a follow up text will be sent stating how wonderful it was to see them and let’s get something on the calendar for a coffee date, but time goes by, and life gets in the way and the next thing you know, a year has gone by, and still no coffee date has been set.
It’s a sad, but true state of events.
While some may not think twice about the abandoned event, I recognize it as a character ‘limitation’ of mine, and it is a dangerous place for me to be.
You see, my default behavior is isolation, and isolation is dangerous for an addict.
I absolutely want to get together my friend, and I have every intention of doing so, but when the time comes to follow up and set a date, the voice inside my head (the mean one) tells me that my friend doesn’t care about getting together. They have more important things to do. Better, more interesting people to spend their time with. So, I abandon the text, curl up on the couch and get lost in a ‘Law and Order’ marathon.
This is not a healthy, sober way of living. This is a behavior I am consistently working on changing. I am very much aware that if I isolate from people, they won’t notice that I haven’t been around in a while, because they aren’t used to seeing me regularly. They won’t know that I am struggling. They won’t know if I am in crisis or if my recovery is at risk. They won’t know enough to ask, “Are you okay?”
We are not meant to go through life, or recovery, alone. We have been gifted with this disease so we can help others make their way to recovery. If I am not showing up at meetings or “keeping in touch”, then I am not only denying myself love and friendship, but I am also withholding that from my fellows who desperately need to feel like they matter to someone.
So, the next time you tell someone to “Keep in touch!” try to remember that they need that conversation as much as you do. They need to know they are being thought and cared about too. We are all walking on this earth together, doing our best to live a joyous life, so let’s be there for each other and ‘keep in touch’!